I’m sorry; It’s been a long time since posting ……………….
I’ve been in a bad place………………
I’ve suffered with depression for years but this last year ………………..well, it’s been hard, really hard.
I came to the place of waking up EVERY MORNING thinking ” S…., I’ve gotta get through another day” or worse “I’m not doing this world anymore; I’m staying here, in bed – everyone can F…. Off …” and guess what? that’s EXACTLY where I would stay, I would not answer my phone, leave the room (other than to use the bathroom) or interact in any way with the world. I wanted to die, literally………. prayed for it every night because………
I felt useless – like everything I do, I fail at! (NOT TRUE)
I felt like there was no point to life, just an endless turning of being miserable day after night
Well as you can imagine, starting the day like this is neither helpful or nourishing to the soul, to the human being who has to function in an ever increasingly manic world. I simply would not interact and eventually, COULD NOT wake up and get out of bed in the morning, COULD NOT ‘face the world’
Bare with me; I’m giving you the shortest version of my miserable story as possible – I just need you to appreciate just how depressed I really was so that you realise that the tips I share in this instance are valid AND that no matter how depressed/helpless/worthless you feel it IS POSSIBLE to FEEL BETTER – It’s not easy – there’s no quick fix or switch you can flick but little efforts, small changes eventually add up to improved well being.
The key thing is ……………………You’ve got to ACTUALLY, TRULY want to get better – Once you make a decision to GET BETTER and HELP YOURSELF then YOU WILL BE HEALED.
FACT OF THE MATTER IS………..I’M STILL HERE – STILL BREATHING, STILL LIVING AND FINALLY………….
STARTING TO BE HAPPY 🙂
So I would like to share with you 5 simple things that I’ve learned that have helped me out of my nightmare spiral of chaos and darkness.
- Force the Self ……………..I hate to say it but this is the most crucial thing – you have no choice – it’s called self discipline – the ONLY way to get out of the cesspit of despair is to actually force yourself into activities……….. you MUST (in order to change)….. A) Make the decision to change and B) make the change happen. I’m not gonna lie; this is the hardest bit because everything in you will say “F~~~ It, lets stay in bed” – I’m telling you that you MUST overcome this nasty little voice called EGO that seems happy to let you wallow in self pity (because in truth, that’s what you’re doing!). <Meditation For You>:
- Get Writing – grab a pen and paper – now start making a list of things that you enjoy doing (this may be difficult because right now you might not remember what it’s like to ENJOY ANYTHING) but try to make a list of things you would enjoy doing…… walking the dog, finishing a book, doing a bit of gardening, baking a cake, going for a run or getting the mountain bike out – whatever it is that you enjoy…….may be as simple as a relaxing bath. NOW draw out a seven day plan and I want you to put something you enjoy doing on every day of the plan – I want you to commit to doing something that YOU enjoy everyday – I want you to schedule it in!! go on do it NOW – Start today. This is NOT a SELFISH act. The happier you are; the happier the people around you – think on that! Once you’ve done that I strongly urge you to grab some more note paper and start writing …….. whatever is in your head, NO PLAN, just write what’s in your head in this moment; how do you feel, what hurts, what’s making you feel angry, what could make you feel happy, who said what ….etc etc – just get it out of your head and onto the paper – feel free to read it back after , see what thoughts come into your head and write them down too. Then when you feel you’ve exhausted the stream of BS that’s in your head ……..either burn the paper, rip it up and bin it or keep the notes in a journal if you wish ….. the main things is that you RELEASE some of that crap going around in your mind – just get it out and let it go, burn it, release it – DONE ……………….you may even find a nice creative hobby this way writing poetry, novels, memoirs, articles for others…….. just do it yeah? Further Reading:
- START SMALL – Ok so now we’ve decided we’re going to get better; we’re going to get out of bed/off the sofa………..We’ve scheduled a tiny bit of ‘ME’ time everyday and we’re going to stick to it ….yes? so what next? Well that’s up to you …….. it will depend on just how depressed and lethargic you feel I guess; so something like ……. Day 1 – just actually ‘get up’ today. Roll out of bed, get off the sofa and have a shower – Do one thing you enjoy doing. Day 2 – Get Up, Have a shower and do a bit of housework plus one thing you really enjoy. Day 3 – Get up, shower, get out of the house/apartment (this is important) you DO need to get back out in the world and start mixing it up, remember to do something you enjoy. Basic Gist : Whatever new habit or change you’d like to create/make – take tiny steps – take each day as it comes. It’s going to take time to change and to start to feel better. Don’t give yourself too many changes at a time to deal with as this may cause overwhelm which will actually make you feel low again. Little Steps, Day by Day………..Write about your successes in a journal – it’s surprising how good it feels to write ” today I achieved ……… ” focus on the positive as much as possible. TODAY I finished this article, today I released the fear that my article is not of use to anyone, today I reached out to the world and it didn’t bite back……… 🙂
- Eat Well – Your body CANNOT function to its best potential with out energy from food. I personally am someone who CANNOT eat when stressed/depressed. Other people over eat when feeling down. whatever way you go I would say the same advice: EAT Good, Nourishing Food everyday – even if just a little – make it fruit, vegetables, good carbs BUT NOT sweets/cakes etc (Processed food will only add to you feeling lethargic and crap – fruit and vegetables will make you feel so much more energised and happy) – Eating an extra portion of fruit or veg per day could be one of your ‘Small Changes’ that will help you feel much better. Bananas and apples are great, easy to eat, brain food that will help lift you back up. Further Reading: 10 Foods I Eat Every Day to Beat Depression
- Get Outdoors/Some Exercise – This is a biggie – you may have to really FORCE yourself out of your box but I promise the benefit is very real. Even if you can only bring yourself to walk around the block or pop to a local shop at first – dragging a brush through your hair, chucking on some clothes and going outdoors is the first step to reintegrating your Self into society and life (NOTHING will change if you stay inside your box). You don’t have to speak to anyone if you don’t want to ……… just FEEL the warmth/cold on your skin, take some DEEP breaths and FEEL the air going into your lungs and invigorating you. Notice what’s beautiful around you; look for something beautiful. Thank yourself and praise yourself for the achievement of getting out of your cesspit of despair. If you feel inclined, take your notepad with you – find somewhere to sit and write about all the POSITIVE aspects to having got up and gone out. Notice how you FEEL, notice how your body feels…… notice if someone smiled or opened a door for you……. remember it’s only your perception that you need to change ….not the world. Further Reading: Exercise and fresh air have proven benefits and can help vastly with depression.
START LIVING NOW – it’s not going to be easy to get over yourself but it IS POSSIBLE and SO WORTH IT
YOU WERE BORN AN AMAZING BEING OF INFINITE POTENTIAL – YOU STILL ARE THAT BEING – REMEMBER: YOU ARE AWESOME 🙂
in the words of Aine Belton: You are loved, loving and loveable…………Always